If you would like to connect now, click here! I can’t wait!
Claudine Phillips
Autoimmunity, The Invisible Disease.
In this episode of The Claudine Phillips Show, I share my heart on the struggles of having an autoimmune disease. It can truly be a lonely disease. For people on the outside, you look normal and you seem to get along in life just fine, …”So what’s the big deal? Are you really sick?” Or, “If you are so sick, why can’t you just go to the doctor and get better?” That’s my favorite. Meanwhile I am screaming inside “I HAVE gone to doctors and they tell me I am ok! I AM NOT OK! I feel terrible!” I feel you sister. this podcast is dedicated to you, my people. The normal looking that are sick. I believe you.
What you will learn this week:
- Who I used to be.
- How mindset changed everything.
- What we can draw from our healing.
- How it feels when someone believes you.
- Remembering what is important.
Having an autoimmune disease can be tricky. I carried around guilt and shame for a long time. I felt terrible canceling plans with friends because I was too tired to follow through with my commitment. I felt less than not having enough energy to do normal things like parenting, cooking, and cleaning. I hated that people thought I was depressed when really I could just fall asleep sitting there. I seemed sad and withdrawn and that was not me. The worst part of it all, I was misunderstood. I wasn’t me anymore and I missed her. And so did everyone else.
Who I Used to Be.
You know what’s wild for me? It is when I come across a photo that was taken during the darkest days of my life. It could be of the kids on a hike, skiing, or in their latest play at school. To you, the picture would seem to be just a picture of my sweet kids doing things that they loved, but to me, I remember how I felt when that picture was taken. Like it was yesterday, I would immediately be transported back to that very moment, just a few years ago, barely living on the inside, even though I looked fine on the outside.
“I was the walking dead. In a fog, no life, barely having the energy for the next moment. I was a stranger to myself.”
I was the walking dead. In a fog, no life, barely breathing. I was a stranger to myself. But I pushed on. I “mommed” on. Homeschooling the older kids, house hunting for our new home in the mountains, and nursing/chasing after our 12 month old. I thought I was in postpartum depression or just super sad and in a funk because I missed my Texas and California friends terribly. I thought I would eventually get passed this and I would get back to myself. Yet my depression grew, I lost more hair, and continued to have les and less energy and more and more brain fog. I was desperate to get my “mojo” back.
That desperation propelled me into a mission to find the Claudine I missed so terribly. I was vibrant, energetic, and full of life. I knew in my soul that the once vibrant Claudine wasn’t forgotten, not hidden, or stolen. I could hear her soft whispers of “I”m still here.” So I decided to muster up what energy I had and send out my strongest armies to rescue her. My research. She needed release and I needed to find the key. She needed to be reached in the middle of her hardest and I was going to set her free.
The Turn.
I read every book and every research article I could get my hands on. I coupled what I knew as a Registered Dietitian with what I was learning in the functional medicine approach to healing. I had to hold hope for myself. I had to see what was possible when all I felt was impossible emotions. I held onto every success story I read, embraced every remedy and idea that seemed right, and had to trust that small voice when it whispered “You are healing” vs the loud voice that wanted to convince me “You are so sick!”
“I had to hold hope for myself. I had to see what was possible
when all I felt was impossible emotions.”
If you would have told me years ago that I would be blogging about my healing experience, I would have laughed. I still do a little bit. It really has been a blessing to walk through the hardships of an autoimmune disease like Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. It is a blessing because God has turned what was meant to harm me into something for good. Through a broken, yet willing, soul, he has equipped me with the experience and wisdom one can only acquire through this healing journey, and the best part, I get to share it with you!
The Honor in the Healing.
How is it that I get to have a job like this? I get to be a cheerleader, an investigator, and a lover of the broken and hopeless. Never would I have thought that the disease that tried to take my down is the one that not only lifted me into my very passions and purpose, but propels me to share my journey, my experience, and my knowledge with you. I get to be to you what I needed when I was so sick. I guess I could say the as I walk in remission, I am remembering my mission (re-mission). To guide others into their own remission.
Remission = Remember My Mission
To guide others into their own remission.
I Believe You.
One of the aspects of my job is that I get to tell you that I believe you. I believe that you are sick. I know what it is like when no one understands that you are sick. I know what it is like to feel like you have the flu and can’t get out of bed, but you don’t look sick and your kids just stare at you while you are in bed needing you. I am with you on the bathroom floor crying with you, holding you close, reminding you that you are not alone. I see you not volunteering at your kids schools because a break from them means sleep for you, and it is ok. I see you in bed at the same time as the toddler and miss connecting with your spouse and I am sorry. I hear your kids tell you that they are tired of you being sick and tired. It hurts.
I understand when you cancel your hike or coffee date because you don’t have the energy to move. I am there relieving your gut from shame when you are shopping for one or two sizes up and you can’t figure out why you have gained all this weight. I already know about your panic attacks and increasing allergies, I have been there. I am beside you when your family doesn’t believe that you are sick. I believe you, friend. And it sucks. I mean really sucks. The perfect storm of loneliness, shame, and hopelessness overwhelms and you just can’t put into words how sad, lost, frustrated and mad you are that you just can’t seem to get back to yourself again.
I believe you.
When your loved ones stare blankly back at you or are silent on the other end of the line when you tell them you have a disease that prevents you from just living life at the fullest, I get it. You see, they see you living your life, but don’t understand you are pushing through so hard. I feel your heart when you husband is done. When he doesn’t understand why you are still sick after all the doctor’s visits told you that you are “fine”. I see you crying yourself to sleep feeling hopeless and alone. I know what it is like to have your kids and husband give up on hoping you would feel better and carry that bit of doubt that you are really sick. I see you not being seen and I am so so so sorry.
I believe you when the rest of the world doesn’t. I simply believe you.
Remember
Remember, however, the ONLY one that actually NEEDS to believe you is YOU. The only person that will get you to a place of healing is you. You are here, reading this, right? Then you have already begun the healing process. You have begun to realize your worth and your value to spend the time, money, and mindset that it will take to get you out of this disease.
“The ONLY one that NEEDS to believe you is YOU!”
I get to be that small voice that cheers you on and tells you “You are healing!” I’ll keep shouting it from the roof tops over and over again and I want you to join in with me. Let’s journey together as you embark on this amazing healing process! I’ll provide the tools for recovery and you just keep showing up! Let’s do this!
Three Steps to Recovery
Through my healing process, I found a reoccuring theme and I thought this would be a good time to share it with you. I call it the 3 R’s to Recovery: Receive, Release, and Restore. These three R’s go hand in hand with the Spiritual, Emotional, and Physical elements that I believe are necessary to embrace your #wholisticgreatness.
I hope that you know that every time you show up here, you are showing up for yourself. My hope is that I can be the very best partner to your healing and that we as a team can get you into healing your autoimmune disease. I am excited to share this journey with you.
I am Claudine Phillips, a Registered Dietitian and Exercise Physiologist who in recovery from Hashimotos Thyroiditis and other autoimmune diseases. I journal, vlog, and podcast my experiences to help you find your healing as well. I termed the phrase #wholisticgreatness to embrace spiritual, emotional, and physical health in order to achieve complete recovery. I share my research and protocols to provide inspiration, tactics, and strategies so that you, too, achieve the best life you could image! Is that you? Then let’s do this! I can be found speaking locally and nationally, journalling and vloging my research and protocols on this site, and connecting with you on my podcast The Claudine Phillips Show and on all the socials at @claudinephillips. I can’t wait to connect!