Have you ever tried breath work before your heart work?

I have started to make it a practice to breathe before I pray. Before I dive into quiet time. My current season affords yogaing, carpooling, homeschooling my beautifully minded dyslexic and wild and free eleven year old, wrangling a four year old, running errands, carpooling, house chores, trying to eat healthy, and making time for my soul mate. I never hit it all at once. I am usually “failing” somewhere in my life, but I #justkeepswimming. I am not meant to have it all, or I wouldn’t need my Jesus to lean on when I just “can’t even.”

So, in this season, I must force myself to stop. I must make it a practice, just like carpooling, to breathe. I come to this spacious place with shallow quick breaths, exhausted, often weepy, yet ready for my Peacemaker to make all things good. I find quiet. This space can be in my car, in the bathroom, in my bedroom, in a closet, anywhere alone and quiet.

How I Breath, Pray, and Receive

As a recovering perfectionist (always) I come to my space often disappointed in myself. So, before I open my bible, I close my eyes, take a breath in through my nose, and exhale through the nose. With each breath, the flow goes deeper. Deeper into my lungs. Deeper into my soul. Deeper into my heart. I let my thoughts come in and go out. I allow my thoughts to flow into a river before me where my Maker catches each thought, holds them close and safe until I choose to receive them back. Often times, He holds them and I never go back for them. I release.

I continue this breath until the body follows. I find that my shoulders eventually find themselves falling back, my chest releases and allows my heart to beat freely, my jaw line loosens, and my whole self melts into the breath. Then, and only then, I open with the my mantra:

“I am valuable. I am wanted. I belong.

I was made on purpose. I have purpose. I am living in my purpose.

I have enough. I do enough. I am enough”

I repeat this mantra over and over again until I believe it. Sometimes I am in repeat for quit some time. Especially if it has been one of those days. And that is ok, because I am enough.

Once my heart is settled and see that it is finally open, I open my bible. I read his Word. I allow it penetrate the hardened shell I may have built around certain areas of my life. Softening. I also allow His Word to celebrate the good stuff. The overcoming, the showing up, and the gifts He gives me daily are enjoyed. I count my blessings and joy.

Once my confessions of the heart are made, the lesson of the day is heard, and the joy is celebrated, I close again in my mantra.

“I am valuable. I am wanted. I belong.

I was made on purpose. I have purpose. I am living in my purpose.

I have enough. I do enough. I am enough”

Every Day

I am humble each and every time. Never have I gotten up disappointed from my time of breath, listening, and praying.

Philippians 4:19 (NLT)  “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all [my] needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to [me] in Christ Jesus.”

I am enough because He made it that way. He chose to die on the cross, that grievously sad and dark day, for me. He knew I would struggle with perfectionism, self worth, and isolation. He understood the taste of wilderness and loneliness I would experience.  He proved my worth through His death. Nothing I can ever do will give me worth. Nothing. It was given to me through His blood that day.

Luke 23:44-46 (NLT) “By this time it was about noon, and darkness fell across the whole land until three o’clock. The light from the sun was gone. And suddenly, the curtain in the sanctuary of the Temple was torn down the middle. Then Jesus shouted,“Father, I entrust my spirit into your hands!” And with those words he breathed his last.”

Yet, every day, the evil one has a mission to convince me otherwise. To prove to me that I was not included in that sacrifice. And, every day, I sit with my Lord to hear His sweet voice. To be reminded of His love for me. We remember my birthright.

He gave his last breath, so I could have THE breath. The breath of life that lasts eternal. When I stop and breathe, I consider it a tribute to His last breath for me. How He went as far as to give His life to prove to me that I am enough.

Thank you Jesus. Thank you.