How to Move From Scarcity to Abundance in Friendships

In this episode of The Wholistic Greatness Podcast, I talk about friendships, specifically, friendships that function in scarcity vs. friendships that function in abundance. I am  embracing mental health today and what it takes to have abundant friendships, an important part of achieving #wholisticgreatness!


Before husbands and kids….Years ago, I struggled with sharing my toys, wondering if I would get picked in dodgeball, and if my sisters would save enough peanut butter for me for a pb&j later. This is a scarcity mindset! It is a mindset that believes the world is only drawing from one little tiny chocolate cake and there won’t be enough leftover for them!

My mindset did not change as I rolled into my teens and 20s, but a shift began to happen when I I jumped into therapy. My mindset continued to shift once I read the book MINDSET by Carol Dwek that came out when I was 34 years old.

I knew I had to turn my mindset around and that book coupled with therapy and some solid mentors gave me hope that there m be a way out of my troubles and embrace abundant living

I wanted to live a life of abundance and have friendships that were meaningful and I wanted to be that special friend. A life of abundance is when you believe there isn’t just one tiny little chocolate cake that the world pulls from. It is when you believe that there are many huge and giant chocolate cakes.

This week, we talk about embracing mental health and achieving abundance in our frendships.

What you will learn this week:

What does having a Scarcity Mindset mean?

The Scarcity mindset believes the people of this world all pull form a tiny little chocolate cake. Every time you share your gifts, wisdom, experience, resources or time with others, they will be getting a piece of that little cake and there will be less or none left for you. There is only one tiny cake and this huge world draws from it.  

They may say things like:

  • Nothing ventured, nothing lost crowd.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, you probably don’t have the ability. 
  • If Rome wasn’t built in a day, maybe it wasn’t meant to be.
  • If you win, I lose.

What does having an Abundant Mindset mean?

People who have an abundance mindset, believe there isn’t just one tiny little chocolate cake that the world pulls from. They  believe that there are many huge and giant chocolate cakes. Abundance minded people are in the kitchen making more cakes. They recruit their best friend(s) and they clear the counters and make cake! We are feeding the entire world, so let’s get to work!  This adds to their own world and never takes from it! If the cakes are running low, more cake is being made! There’s no lack of ingredients, supplies and they delight in sharing their cakes. There is enough.

They may say things like:

  • Nothing Ventured, Nothing  gained!  
  • If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again!  
  • Rome wasn’t built in a day!  
  • You win, I win!

What does Scarcity vs Abundance look like in friendships?

Just imagine what an abundant friendship would look like. We have a chance to enhance each other’s development and to validate each other. We are not each other’s competition.  We get to share wisdom and demonstrate courage to spur growth for our friends.  Let’s not withhold. Let’s be generous with our time, resources, and experience. Let’s show our next generation how we do things to pave a way for others. Let;s show them where we were scared and needed courage which gives them courage.  We get to reassure our friends of their fine qualities. Now is the time to do this. This is the time to give reassurance to one another.  Compliment genuinely. Encourage ladies and take note. Be specific. Let them know they are seen. These are the occasions to provide support and to give a growth message to our friends. Speak the truth in love and humility.

How do we achieve abundance in our friendships?

In order to function from the abundance mindset, you must embrace these three concepts.

  • Rise above any and all personal circumstance as well as relationship issues. We all will deal with “stuff”sometime in our lives. We must address this issue ourselves, not project it onto others. If there is an issue between you and a friend, you either get in person or get on the phone and resolve it and move on.
  • Serve wholeheartedly. Any chance you get, serve. Make a meal, help them with their bags, hold the door. Be a friend and listen.
  • Do your work so you can take the risk and be vulnerable. Take care of your body by moving every day. Nutritionally feed your body with quality foods and lots of water. Go to a therapist if needed to work through any trauma or circumstances.


I used to be so intimidated when I walked into a group of woman to speak. I would feel my heart racing and dry mouth happening. Since I have implemented these concepts, I have learned that when I walk into a group just like this, I bring everything I have to serve  and lift you up. There is a saying: When the tide come in, it lifts all the boats. You are not my competition. You are my greatest fan. I am yours. Let’s be generous with one another with our time, experience, wisdom, and talent. Your success does not diminish mine, it supports it! Ladies, let’s lift our sisters boats with our presence, love, and servitude.


And just in case you needed a visual of Beth and I, here we are. Hair and all! Love those babies! We are 17 in this photo and in 11th grade, just a few years after we met in 7th grade. Those braces came off, I stuck contacts in, and continued to embrace the 80s fashion completely! Can anyone say “belted Units”?  And guess what, Beth and I keep in touch to this day!I JUST LOVE THIS! She is my oldest friend. Her friendship taught me so much. Check out this episode to learn what I’m talking about if you haven’t already….Grateful for her and grateful for the life lessons that teach us abundance!


Here is a quick video that outlines the 3 Ways to Maximize Your Friendships by adopting the abundance mindset. Enjoy! And don’t for get to share!

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Claudine Phillips

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I am Claudine Phillips, a Registered Dietitian and Exercise Physiologist who in recovery from Hashimotos Thyroiditis and other autoimmune diseases. I journal, vlog, and podcast my experiences to help you find your healing as well. I termed the phrase #wholisticgreatness to embrace mental, physical, and spiritual health in order to achieve complete recovery. I share my research and protocols to provide inspiration, tactics, and strategies so that you, too, achieve the best life you could image! Is that you? Then let’s do this! I can be found speaking locally and nationally, journalling and vloging my research and protocols on this site, and connecting with you on my podcast The Claudine Phillips Show and on all the socials at @claudinephillips. I can’t wait to connect!

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