Claudine Phillips

How to get your awesome back!

Thanks to the two ‘olders’ uploading a new stop motion animation app on the ipad, I was afforded a quiet  cloudy sky yummy morning of reading on my living room sofa. CrosbyMac was racing his cars in full throttle on a car track I had scribbled out on butcher paper minutes earlier as I snuggled under a favorite blanket. I couldn’t believe I was actually reading a book, alone {ish}, at 10 am on a Monday morning, but I chose to believe in my unbelief and charge ahead.

After about 5 minutes, nose deep in my new read, I realized it was “a little too quiet”. I peaked up from under my soft refuge and found little Mac stuffing his cars in his pants. As he sat there stuffing away, he seemed to giggle and talk to himself. He was having the time of his life. He noticed that I was peaking in on his play date, yet seemed to not care. He resumed his joyful moments as he found new places to nest his vehicles. It caught my attention, as I watched.



He didn’t care. He was doing something quit unique that he enjoyed, saw that I saw him, yet kept on playing. He just didn’t care.

I quickly got up to retrieve my camera, snapped a few shots as he proceeded to walk with his cars in his pants, laughing the whole way. A few dropped and he stopped to re-engage and proceeded towards me. He wanted to see the pictures I was taking and we sat and laughed together. He talked to me {in his Crosby language} as if he was recounting his every move. It was glorious as we sat and experienced his “I’ve got cars in my pants” moment together.


He moved on to other things and I just kept rolling through the photos. Amazed.

When did I lose this care free, let’s stuff cars in our pants, season of life? I remember times where my dreams where HUGE! I wanted to sing and dance and entertain when I was a kid. I even recorded myself “playing my nose” on my 11th birthday with my new tape recorder. I was convinced I was amazing and made sure everyone listened! Weird, but so full of “YES, I’M AWESOME!”


When did that fearless BIG spirit fade and the tiny timid spirit of rejection enter?

I can look back and see times where my ideas were not received as a kid, yet I didn’t care. So when did I start caring and stop playing? I am most inspired, most transformed, most ALIVE when I play. Ideas roll in, life is breathed back in, and creativity is born.

I am most vulnerable in my creative state, which can be scary. As I write, speak, and share my heart, my creativity is placed out there for rejection, criticism, and disapproval. But I do it anyways. Why? I do it because I am most alive in these places.

Crosby’s uninhibited play reminded me that we must never stop playing. Never stop creating. Never stop laughing. That our creatives selfs are our vulnerable selfs that need attention from us. From the spirit within us.


Let’s put our critics in a mason jar, place them high up on the shelf, and go play, write, create. We sometimes don’t realize we can control when the critics’ voices are to be heard. They can be taken off the shelf when its time for helpful editing, constructive feedback, and coaching. Use your critics wisely and you will have a fun time creating, playing, and just being you.

Thanks, little Mac, for your inspiration. I really like your cars in your pants! Now let’s go play!