Claudine Phillips

coffee connection: how to make new friends in a new town

My first coffee connection was rather nerve wrecking…. I just moved to California and was in some serious need of some girl bonding time. I knew no one and the nearest family member was over 1,700 miles away. I was knee deep in new baby, homeschool life, and unpacking, unpacking, unpacking….I needed a place where I could talk the mommy language. Frankly, I needed hugs.


In an attempt to get those hugs and connection, I decided to throw the dart. I placed an invitation to join me for coffee out there in the world wide web. I posted a status update on my Facebook profile and sent emails to ladies I had met so far and to my childrens’ class email lists.  My invitation went something like this:

“Hi Central Coast Peeps! I am hosting a monthly coffee date on the first Tuesdays of every month and I would love for you to join me.”

I was actually so nervous just typing out the words “join me.” All sorts of feelings overwhlemed me. I felt like the new kid in the lunchroom. With eyes darting desperately searching for a familiar smile, I was dying to hear the words “Will you be my friend?”  I posted my status update and pressed the send button. It was something that I could not NOT do.



The morning of the coffee date, I walked to my car with words floating about.  “No one will show up. I am going to be the only one there sitting in Super-Looserville waiting for N.O.O.N.E!” Then I rememebered  how much I wanted to connect and needed that hug! It was worth the risk of no one showing up and worth the chance for opportunity to connect.


To my surprise, 8 people showed up! Yes, I counted. Inside, I was saying “YES, connection!”

“God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.” – 1 Corinthians 1:9

He calls us to encourage and fellowship one another. Oh, such a beautiful thing, to fellowship. He teaches us to fellowship with one another through our fellowship with him and, wow, how he blesses us with relationships here on earth.

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”-Matthew 6:33 NLT

He gave me what I needed at this first coffee connection. He met me exactly where I was. There was sweet connection. And yes, I got a few hugs.


And even possibly better than hugs,  friendships were being planted and connections were being made beyond me. Since this first meeting, I have seen how we, as women, are less intimidated to reach out to one another in this small community. We are more apt to text, email, call, or stop one another in the hallway and continue to connect. We are helping one another in various ways in life. It is a beautiful gorgeous thing to witness.

I have chill bumps on my elbows and tears in my eyes as I write this.  I see it. My dream coming to fruition. Women connecting with other women so authentically. I am already giving thanks to the Lord for the opportunity to invite woman into fellowship over a sweet warm cup of coffee next month.

How about you? Did you have opportunity for community connection? I can’t wait to hear about it! Comment below!