Listening is not my forte. Ask my husband. I seem to be formulating rebuttals and dissertations while he is talking, just preparing to “win” the fight. He says I missed my calling as a prosecuting attorney. One day in a couples counseling session, the therapist asked Shad if he felt like I listened to him. Shad quickly replied, “Never.” Harsh , by sweet man, harsh….but true. Then the therapist turned to me and asked the same question. “Do you feel like Shad listens to you?” I said, “Never.” I had the same response but not for the same reason.
Shad was right, I wasn’t listening to him. I would interrupt, finish his statements, and often talk over him. To this day, I am a wife in training, working on listening to his words and patiently waiting to respond. I have learned alot by listening. He actually has some pretty good things to say. Live and learn.
Speaking of learning, we realized that day in therapy that listening to him and listening to me have two different definitions. When I am to listen to him, I am to be silent and wait until he is done. When he listens to me, I need some “Uh-huhs, oh reallys, and wows!” Both are super hard for either to do, but we do it in the name of our new marriage. And, hey, I am convinced God will not let my “attorney skills” go to waste, so I am keeping those skills in my back pocket for when they can be used for good.
How about you? What do you need? Silence or some Uh-huhs?
This post is of a 31 day series called Empower Your People. You are invited to join us and empower your people.
Today’s call: Listen
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