When did we adopt this mean girl mentality? A mindset that SHE is my competition? A mindset that we must keep our cards close and stop believing that there is enough for her and for me. Who taught us this? The men in our lives have never exemplified that there was not enough for them in this world in order to stop pursuing their dreams. They dream and with every bone in their body, they show up and pursue their dreams.  So why is it that we, as woman, believe that there is only so much in this world for us and we better fight for it before it gets taken? Why do we believe we can’t make that cake and eat it too? This mindset must stop!

Nowhere does it say that, for men, the world is their oyster, but for women, you just get “this”. But we, as women have signed off on this heresy. We believe it. We settle, we sacrifice, and we negotiate our dreams away for the lie that there is simply not enough. We sit in the space of “I can’t be a good wife or a good mom and have a career.” Or, if we choose to pause this dream to raise our babies, we convince ourselves that our dream is no longer our dream because someone else claimed it and we are too old to pursue it anymore.

We adopt the “its too late” and wither into our hopelessness and live out the next 40 years mad and disappointed, yet act like everything is ok.  We see the women that decided to not believe the lie and live out her dream and secretly burn with jealously and figure out lies in order to cope with their success and our lack. “Oh, she must have not been there for her kids when they got home from school,” or “I bet her marriage is falling apart,” “or  “I bet Johnny is on drugs.” Seriously, we wish them ill will because they are standing smack dab in the middle of OUR dream.

The difference between them and us is that they believed they were not only MEANT to pursue their dream, but that they COULD live out all or their dream. They could be an exceptional wife, mother, friend, AND career woman. They threw out the ‘not for me’ thinking and said, ‘how can I make this work?’ They believed in their hearts that there was enough time, space, money, drive, and means to make their dream come alive. They never gave up.

A life of mediocracy was not their dream. Just like you, their dream was to leave a strong legacy for their family and they worked hard for it. They made space in their schedule for this every day. Mediocracy was never a choice. Giving up was never an option. They had a dream and they were going to live it out. They didn’t see their life any different. They knew they could be an amazing wife, loving mother, and successful career woman. They let no one tell them what they could and couldn’t do. They made up their own rules and were the boss of them!

Women who have careers have this gleam of opportunity in their eye. They have this growth mindset that is contagious.  They see others accomplishments as inspirational, not competition. They see the possibility for growth when a challenge comes their way, not as a sign to stop. They are open to hearing about their friends dreams. They sit in a place of abundance. They are generous with their time and resources to help and serve others pursue their dream. Wow! She sounds amazing! She sounds like YOU.

It is time to stop living in this scarcity mindset and believe that we have all that we need to start this journey. That we are not too young or too old. That this is the time to begin living out our dream. Right now. No, we don’t have all the skill, knowledge, and knowhow to do this thing to the  level we dream about at the beginning, but we do have the resources to learn them. We have Google and we have other successful women around us that want to help us. They are there, I promise.

We may run into a woman here and there that still holds her cards close and that is ok, because she is not our people. Move on sister.  Let’s not waste our time. Let’s make space for the people that are like-minded and believe in your dream. Find the people that know we will succeed and that there is enough cake to go around. By all means, we CAN make that cake, cut a generous slice for ourselves, and another for our sister, and another, and another. There is plenty to go around. We get to decide this. Let no one else decide this for you.

We get to decide that the dream set in our hearts long ago will come true. It is a mindset that is to be set, first and foremost, every day. During my yoga training, my yoga teacher shared this mantra with us and I am forever grateful.